Backstabbing and Bullying

By Silverfox

Why does backstabbing hurt as well as bullying?


Backstabbing- betrayal ( a verbal attack against one not present) especially by a false friend


Backstabbers are not your FRIENDS they are people who betray you and hurt you.It happens to many people at schools, workplaces, it happens all over the world and it happens every day.


The effects of bullying on friends can be a problem people will fight and argue and sometimes bullying takes the life of that person, people have tried to find solutions for bullying but have not been successful in their search for ways to stop bullying the search is still going on and it’s becoming even harder to find ways to stop bullying. This has happened to many kids even at your school and then the rumors start and they spread like a wildfire and then the person who is getting picked on and bullied and they don’t even want to come to school and they get irritated and fights break out and arguments start. Here are the nine steps to deal with backstabbing.

  1. Ask your friend to have a private conversation. Before you make any decisions, it’s important that you get to the bottom of the situation. Tell your friend that you’d like to clear some things up and that you’d appreciate them meeting with you.
  • Sometimes the best thing to do is ask you if you can have a private conversion instead of being around a lot of people while you talk about the situation.
  • Always talk to your friend away from other people. You can’t have a serious conversation about your relationship issues when other people are around.
  1. Speak calmly. Yelling or getting over emotional won’t typically help your situation. Talking in a calm voice will help you get your point across and will also help your friend remain calm. We often think much more logically when we are calm, so you’ll be able to better explain your thoughts and feelings if you don’t let your emotions get the best of you.[2]
  • Stay calm by taking slow, deep breaths – deep breathing is a great tool to keep you relaxed.
  • If you start to become upset, calm yourself down by internally telling yourself to relax, and/or thinking of imagery that keeps you calm – such as a beach or waterfall.
  • Carry a stress ball to squeeze when you get angry. This is a great way to physically get out your anger and tension in an extremely calm way.[


  1. Tell your friend what you’ve heard. Avoid mentioning names and simply tell your friend whatever you heard they did or said. Express to them how those actions hurt you. The more straightforward you are, the more straightforward they’ll be.


  • Seek the truth before you make your final decision. Most of the time, we find out about backstabbing friends through other people. It’s important to get your friend’s side of the story before you take another person’s word as fact. What you’ve heard about your friend could be a rumor, or it could be true. Either way, it’s important to know the truth.[4]



4.Listen to your friend’s side of the story before making assumptions. Tell your friend that honesty is important to you and your friendship and that you’d like to know the truth. Use open-ended questions to encourage discussion and avoid verbally attacking your friend. If they feel like they have to be defensive, they won’t be honest with you. Simply ask what happened and listen attentively


Tell your friend how you feel. Be honest with your feelings and don’t beat around the bush. Be straightforward when you’re telling your friend why you’re upset with them and how their actions have made you feel. Remain as calm as possible.


  • Use this guideline to express your feelings: “It upset me when you _______. Your actions made me feel like _______ because _______ing. It’s important to know whether you have somehow contributed to the issue at hand.



5.Ask your friend if you did something to bring about their backstabbing. It’s important to know whether you have somehow contributed to the issue at hand. Perhaps they feel hurt by you in some way and this is their way of “getting back” at you, or perhaps there has been a misunderstanding. It’s important to clarify the possibility that your friend sees things in this light.[6]


  • Avoid interrupting. Let your friend finish talking before you interrupt them or ask additional questions. It’s important that your friend feels heard.



  1. Don’t turn the conversation into an argument. If your friend won’t answer your questions or continues evading the issue, gently push them for answers, but do not attack them. If you turn this into an argument, it will only cause your friend to withdraw from the conversation. Your friend may feel embarrassed that you found out about their actions so they may be hesitant, to be honest with you.[7]


  • To avoid arguing, be sure to listen to your friend instead of waiting for your turn to talk. Listening to one another will give you both a better understanding of what happened.
  • Don’t raise your voice. This will just get both of you upset.
  • Don’t focus on who is right and who is wrong – focus on truth and honesty. If you’re trying to prove one another wrong, you won’t have a productive conversation. Instead, be honest with one another to figure out how to fix the current situation.
  • Don’t be disrespectful or condescending. Even if you’re upset, it is not okay to disrespect someone, especially if you’re trying to fix a problem. It is important to treat your friend the way you wish to be treated.
  • If things start to get tense, suggest taking a short break from the discussion to allow yourselves to cool down.



  1. Get a trusted opinion. The best thing to do is get a trusted opinion like an adult or a sister, cousin or consular. Don’t ever make the person feel like they are not something that’s not worth your time or that they aren’t worth helping or caring for, stay true to your friends and they will stay true to you but this will not always happen every friendship is worth saving no matter who it is with or what you fought about or argued about every friend you make is another person that you saved from bullying and hurt that has either happened to them or has not.

Determine if the friendship is worth saving. If your friend is open and honest with you about their actions, there’s a strong possibility that your friendship is fixable. If you and your friend can admit to your mistakes and commit to working on a better friendship, put in the effort to fix things. All of our relationships have their ups and downs, so look at this as an opportunity to improve your communication and make your friendship stronger.[11]


  • If your friend is not willing, to be honest about their actions, or if this is a recurring issue with this person, it might be best to go your separate ways.
  • Friendship is a two-way street, and you can’t be the only person putting in the effort to keep it going. A negative relationship is not worth fighting for, and it will be better for both parties to end your friendship.


Here is the link to the site visit this site for more information. If needed


Bullying is a huge problem in schools and out of school and some people choose to ignore it and do nothing about and just choose to stand and watch. But not all people are like that, some are willing to stand up and fight for the person or stand up for them or they will go to an adult and tell them what is going on or they will explain the situation to them. sometimes kids will fight with the bully and get hurt even more than necessary.


Here are some ways to deal with bullies.


– walk away and go tell an adult

– ignore them and avoid if possible if not then walk by them but don’t acknowledge them and ignore that they are even their.

– tell the bully to leave you alone in a strong but not mean voice and stand up straight and look them straight in the eye and tell them why they need to stop or ask some of your friends to come with you when you talk with them.


Here is a saying that is true and should be said more often!!!!!!

(picture of a boy bullying a little kid)bullying comes in many forms of cyberbullying or physical or mental or threats. Stand up for people and friends, TAKE A STAND AGAINST BULLYING!!!


To This Day Project – Shane Koyczan

Watch this bullying poem on youtube this is the perfect definition of bullying, if you watch the whole video you will see why bullying is horrible and not okay and why kids have committed suicide from bullying Shane Koyczan “To This Day” Help this message have a far reaching and long lasting effect in confronting bullying. Please share generously.Fake Smile || Spoken Word

Watch on youtube

Another bullying poem


Please watch these videos and try to take a stand against bullying.

Do whats right not wrong, stand up for the people who have been bullying, take your place with us, show you’re against it please show bullying is wrong.

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