Afraid

By Anonymous

 

I try to show who I truly am

but I’m afraid.

I’m afraid

that people will judge me

for what they see

beneath the skin.

I fear

that others

will reject me

when they see what kind

of person I am.

I never know

who will judge me

and who won’t.

I tend to push others away

because I feel

that I can’t trust

anyone.

Everyone seems

to bring me down

but there are few

who make me happy.

I’m afraid,

I admit it,

because I feel

like I’m not good enough,

like I am the wrong shape

or I have the

wrong personality.

No matter who

or where

I am,

people filter in

and out

of my life.

All I want

is for the people I love

to stay here, with me.

But some of them

decide to leave me alone

and ignore me

and find someone better than me.

It seems

that people leave

to find others that suit their needs.

I don’t feel needed.

 

Sometimes I bring it upon myself.

If someone tries to talk to me,

I end up screwing it up

with my shy and awkward personality.

Sometimes

I’ll try to include them

in my life;

I’ll try to speak to them.

I try to connect with them,

even if I’m not close to them.

Maybe that’s why I lose people;

maybe it’s because I try too hard.

Maybe it’s because I have a hard time

talking to others,

or because I am dependent on myself.

 

I’m afraid of people leaving me

and of people judging me.

I am fearful

of people hating me.

I fear that they won’t like me

for who I am,

but I have accepted

that I am different from them

and there are people who

love me

unconditionally

for who I am.

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