Makeup

Makeup

By Allison

 

Sometimes I think

that I need makeup

to hide from myself.

All I see when I look in the mirror

is bad personality.

I see greasy hair

and acne covering my face,

with thin eyelashes

and dirty brown eyes.

Makeup

is a way of hiding

under a layer of foundation,

highlighter,

bronzer,

and blush.

All I see is my eyes,

glittering with eyeshadow

and lashes covered in mascara.

Eyes

full of lies.

Lips

that are plump and pink,

red and thin.

A face so fake,

so unreal and unnatural,

but with a feeling

of belonging.

A mask of my makeup,

hiding the ugliness

from the outside world.

My mom tells me

that I have a sweet face,

that I don’t need

to cover it with makeup.

She doesn’t understand

that in my mind,

I fear

boys and girls

will snicker at me from behind.

They’ll judge me

if I don’t cover my acne

with concealer

and blush.

 

My friends will say

that I look fine,

that I’m beautiful inside and out.

They say that I’m not fat,

that I’m unique in every way.

It’s hard to believe them

when you think

the whole world is staring at you

and making fun of you

because of the way you look.

Maybe,

just maybe,

I am ready

to believe that

no one is watching

and that I

am just paranoid.

But the makeup

that I layer on my face

keeps me from seeing the person

on the inside.

I don’t see myself

as beautiful.

I’m just there,

existing.

I only put makeup on

so I can see

what can make me

feel hidden,

what can make me

comfortable

and happy.

Maybe,

just maybe,

I’m ready to wash

the shine,

shimmer,

and color

away.

One day,

perhaps

I will do it.

But for now,

I layer my face

with concealer,

eyeshadow,

and mascara.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s