To This Day Adaptation

To This Day

By: S. Graczyk


To this day

She still looks out the window

Still sad and depressed

No one really knows what happened

Only she does

On the outside she looks fine

She laughs

She plays with her friends at school

She acts

No one knows how she really feels

No one can tell

She wakes up in the morning, puts on her poker face, she’s to good at pretending, no one can tell if she’s bluffing

She’s to good at the game, and plays her cards well

She likes to read

She likes to solve equations

She likes to try things that other can’t do

She likes the challenge of it she says

And everyone in school knows this

Because of it she’s called a nerd, smart alec, a know it all

She hears them

But pretends they aren’t there

To this day

She still presses her face

Up against the cold window

Her skin still pale

Still cold to the touch

Her beauty illuminating

Her smile

Still bright and beautiful

Her reflection

Is as ugly as it gets

She’s not beautiful

In her eyes

She’s a nuisance

Unwanted

A mistake

She tells herself

The world would be a better place

If she wasn’t in it

To this day

The light in her eyes

Barley shines

Just a small glint

Tears form

And she crys

Falling to her knees

To this day

She sits lonely

She’s lonely even when she’s

Surrounded by a crowd

She’s lost

Lost in her mind

In her thoughts

In her head

She’s trapped

She can’t escape

She needs help

She wants help

No one will help her

No one

She’s slowly

Slowly but surely

Falling down a never ending

Rabbit hole

She’s not the popular type

Not at all actually

Most people don’t even know she’s there

She’s practically

Invisible

When she talks to friends

Or anyone

They don’t know she’s there

They can never hear her

It’s as if she wasn’t there

She tries to talk

But always gets cut off

She doesn’t want to talk over anyone

Because she doesn’t want to be rude

So she’s never to say anything

She can’t speak

Word form

But can never be

Spoken

To this day

She’s gone

Mentally

Not physically

All she is

Is a

Hollow

Empty

Shell

She’s unhappy

But no one can ever see why

No one

Can ever take a

Hint

Maybe it’s because

No one ever listens

She’s always ignored

Left alone

Lost

Stranded out in the deep unknown

Nobody caring whether she’s alive or

Dead

To this day

She sits alone

At a table for two

And she just wants to be served

She is

Sad

Lost

Scared

Lonely

Tired of being treated like

Nothing

Someday she will actually stand up for herself and what’s right

Until then

She will be the

Sad

Lost

Scared

And lonely girl that no one even

Cares about

To this day

She still doesn’t know just how beautiful

Her pale skin

Still on the glass of the window

Her long blonde hair falling down past her waist

She puts on makeup

Lots and lots of

Makeup

Thinking that it’s the only way for her to possibly be

Beautiful

What she doesn’t realize is that she already

Beautiful

It’s her inner beauty that really, truly counts

All she is, is beautiful

All the tears she has cried has created a moat that protects her castle that she has built with all the hateful words and all the stones that has been thrown at her, every wound will shape her, every scar will build her thrown

To this day

She sits finally realizing just how truly beautiful she actually is she has now learned that not all beauty comes from how you look with all of the makeup on, but from your heart

What truly matter is your inner beauty

And that looks can and most times will be deceiving  

She has learned that everyone is special

She is need

To this day

She is happy with who she is

She is no longer

Sad

Lost

Scared

Lonely

She now loves and is loved

To this day

She is Free

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